Leaving TLV

I guess it was somewhat in July that I started feeling I wanna stay here. This is my place on earth. My neighbour and best friend Golan offered me to move to his place on the rooftop and my first thought was: no way, how can I move to my own place, when I don’t even know I can stay here? (That’s Golan, the most relaxed, supporting, and generous person I know):

But then, thinking about it, having my own rooftop in TLV, a dream would come true. So basically the whole month was about bringing the good news to my Marrocan roommate (don’t even try to explain to them, why you take decisions on your own) and organising everything about it.

Once I was up there, I forgot the world around me, this was my piece of heaven. In the middle of this lively vibrating city, I found my peace and chilling on my roof with ARAK at night was my daily ritual.

My cat loved her new life as a wild cat. In the beginning I was really scared to let her go, but as I always say: if you want to gain trust, first you have to give it. And after my first cat mom heart attack, I became more and more relaxed and really proud of how my cat from Police handled her new freedom.

I started looking for jobs, applied, had interviews, and was convinced that I will find something I will really like and that will allow me staying. One language school wanted to open a French class for university entrance tests and they wanted to hire me, if I was able to get the visa somehow.

At this point I still had no idea how impossible this was. It was only at a private school in Herzeliya that the school director told me what it means to hire somebody from abroad. This was the crucial moment I understood, that I will have to find another way.

And then everybody was telling me: You are hot, why don’t you get yourself an Israeli boyfriend? Why? Because I am not looking for another boyfriend in my life. I did this four times in my life and somehow it was never fulfilling. And now I wanted to take the time for myself and wait for something real. The thought of faking something I don’t believe in was absurd.

Which does not mean that I didn’t try it. I did a great casting and you can imagine how much guys in TLV are into commitment. In the end I even managed to find somebody willing to do this with me, but the rules of the game had changed in the meantime, and the stay was only according to my current visa. Ending on 12th September 2018.

My last chance was to go to the misrad hapnim and ask them for an extension of my third tourist visa. I spent countless hours there and we prepared all the needed documents. My friend Golan even wrote a very personal letter and I was convinced I will get another three months stay. Why should they say no?

Therefore I bought a ticket for the rabbits in the sand party on the 15th September. I went to the party and thought I am celebrating my stay in Israel.

The next day, Golan and I were going to the misrad to pick up the decision. I was ready to accept whatever was about to happen, cause already back in August I had this feeling, and I was telling this to a friend, that I feel like going home. Back then everything still seemed possible. But I felt that it would be a waste of time staying until the end of the year, not being able to legalize my stay and get a working permit.

Finally they call our number, the woman gives Golan a sheet of paper. He starts reading, he is upset. He tells me that they denied my request. It’s 16th September and I have 7 days to leave the country. 7 fucking days to leave my life not even knowing where to go. From this moment on I am functioning. I start organizing everything step my step.

Nobody wants to believe it. I do.

My only concern is Cookie, anything else is just things. I don’t really care about it. But my cat has to stay in the best place possible. I cannot take her with me. It’s holidays, there are no direct flights to Poland. My friend Sophia suggests to take Cookie, I know she will be great there, but I am concerned about Louis, she never lived with a dog before. But we risk it anyway. Real footage of the two:

It’s my last days in TLV. I meet people, go places, enjoy the beach and my city. My home. I try to take a bit of every person I met here with me. I try to keep the warmth and love they gave me. I try to keep this feeling of being finally home.

23th September is the day of my departure. It’s a Sunday, I take a cab to the airport. I get on the plane and as the engine starts, the tears begin to run…