We move through life facing forward, but we only understand it when we look back. I used to think I was aware and made conscious decisions early on. But a recent visit from a school friend showed me how much of our path is shaped by things outside our control. Our emotional background, our upbringing, and the environment we grow up in leave little room for real freedom. Often, we just become what was programmed into us. Free will and building a life we truly love can feel like something out of reach, as if life is just happening to us.
When I ask people about their lives, most describe what happened to them rather than what they intentionally created. This is the difference between people who live out of fear and those who live from the heart. People guided by fear tend to play it safe, play small, and shape their lives to meet others’ expectations. In doing so, they give up the chance to live in alignment with who they really are.
Spending a week with this friend from the past was a meaningful experience. We hadn’t seen each other in 23 years. At 15, we were still untouched by much of what life would later bring. Telling your life story to someone who knew you back then feels very different. They’re not a stranger. They knew a version of you that most people in your adult life have never met. Being able to speak freely, without fear of being judged or misunderstood, was deeply healing.
We didn’t just talk about what happened in the last two decades. We also talked about what was really going on back then, beneath the surface. The emotional and mental patterns from our teenage years had a strong influence on what followed. Reflecting on that, together and openly, brought clarity. When someone truly listens and sees the full picture, with all its good and bad parts, it creates understanding.
If I could go back and say one thing to my younger self, it would be this: No one is coming to save you. You are the one who will make things happen. You are the turning point. When I stopped waiting for someone or something to fix my life, I saw that I had the power to change it. We are all born with the ability to create. Each of us has a purpose.
It took me a long time to figure out what mine is. I kept searching for answers. I tried coaching, courses, and even studied Kabbalah. Still, the answer stayed unclear. Maybe I didn’t trust that it would come when the time was right. I often felt like I didn’t fully belong anywhere. Being from Poland but growing up in Germany left me in between two worlds. Later, when I found the spiritual path, I understood I didn’t need to belong to any group or place.
I also often felt ungrounded, like I wasn’t attached to structure or tradition. I lived based on my inner compass and created my own rules. But trying to belong always felt restrictive. Looking back, I see now that I wasn’t meant to fit in. Maybe true connection in the way I hoped for isn’t part of this life’s path for me.
What I do know is this: I am here to help others feel connected. I do this by offering new perspectives, encouraging self-awareness, and supporting consciousness. Being in between cultures, ideas, and experiences is exactly where I need to be. It allows me to build bridges for people who want to explore something beyond the physical world. I feel most aligned when I can offer something true and meaningful, something that cuts through the noise and brings real value in a world that often feels distracted and disconnected.
my beatitude 
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