When we start our careers, we throw ourselves into the work, eager to prove our worth. We’re not just building skills – we’re shaping our professional identity, figuring out how we fit into the working world. At this stage, our success often depends on external validation: the recognition of managers, colleagues, and the industry itself.
At this point, we might find ourselves in one of two situations. If we’re lucky, we’ll have a supervisor who genuinely wants us to succeed, someone who shares knowledge, encourages growth, and helps us navigate the complexities of professional life. But we might also encounter a different kind of leader – one who believes in tough love, who withholds guidance because “nobody helped them” either. In this case, we’ll be forced to learn the hard way, dealing with difficult personalities and workplace challenges sooner than we’d like.
In these moments, our instinct tells us to double down on effort, to work harder, believing that proving our competence will make things better. But here’s the reality: the issue isn’t the person making our life difficult. The issue is our lack of experience in handling such situations. Because no matter where we go, both the supportive and the challenging people will always exist in our careers.
The key isn’t just to work harder – it’s to work on yourself.
The Shift: From External Validation to Inner Strength
As we grow, we start to see that external circumstances don’t determine our success – our ability to navigate them does. The moment we invest in building confidence, setting boundaries, and staying grounded, everything shifts.
First, we stop attracting toxic environments as often. People who once took advantage of our inexperience or insecurity no longer find an easy target. And second, when we do encounter difficult situations, they no longer shake us. Instead of reacting emotionally or overworking ourselves to prove a point, we handle them with clarity and control.
This ability – the strength to remain steady in any work environment – comes from self-worth. And self-worth isn’t just about how we feel at work. It touches every part of our lives.
The Role of Self-Worth in Your Career and Beyond
Self-worth is like an internal compass that influences everything – work, relationships, finances, health, and personal happiness. When we first enter the workforce, we rely on others to determine our value. We look to our managers for feedback, our colleagues for approval, and our company’s policies to define our professional worth. But as we gain experience, we begin to recognize our contributions, and with that recognition, we gain the power to define our own value.
This shift is crucial. Because no matter how good we are at our jobs, external factors are always changing. A company gets acquired, leadership shifts, or economic downturns force layoffs. What felt like a stable, rewarding job one day can become uncertain the next.
This is why tying our self-worth solely to our job performance is a risky strategy. We need to build our value internally – through personal growth, emotional resilience, and continuous learning – so that no external event can take it away.
The Real Work is Internal
One of the biggest misconceptions we grow up with is the belief that hard work alone guarantees success. We assume that if we do a great job, recognition, promotions, and security will follow. But the reality is, work is only a small part of the equation.
Success in any field is about much more than skill or effort. It’s about relationships, communication, problem-solving, and emotional intelligence. It’s about knowing how to navigate conflict, advocate for ourselves, and collaborate with people from different backgrounds and perspectives.
Yet, these skills aren’t something we’re explicitly taught. We learn them through experience, often the hard way. And this internal work – the process of understanding ourselves, managing our emotions, and refining our interactions with others – is far more challenging than any technical skill we could master.
I’ve never met a person who was hard on others but kind to themselves. And I’ve never met a truly happy person who made others feel miserable. How we treat others is often a reflection of our internal state. When we feel insecure, we project that onto the world. When we lack self-love, we see threats everywhere. And when we don’t trust ourselves, we assume others are working against us.
The Takeaway: Invest Where It Matters
We spend eight hours a day at work – but we spend 24 hours a day with ourselves. Both environments should feel safe. Both should be places where we feel valued and at ease.
The good news? The job you were hired for – you already have the skills. But the real work, the work that will make the biggest difference in your career and life, is the work you do on yourself.
Because when you build a strong foundation of confidence, self-respect, and adaptability, no job title, no company policy, and no difficult manager can take that away from you.
my beatitude 
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