Oops, I did it again…

Sometimes it seems that history is repeating. Just that this time you are wiser, much more experienced, and aware of your moves.

In September 2017 I went to Israel and fell madly and deeply in love. What happened afterwards can only be explained this way. I came back to Poland by the end of September and started to organize my leaving for good. Sitting here in Berlin I wonder how I did this, but I remember well why this was even possible. Simply because I had the most amazing people by my side telling me that I should follow my feeling and dream and supporting me in it.

Now, almost exactly 3 years later I am sitting here with another crazy plan. Just that this time I don’t have this supporting environment. And of course I am much more reasonable about it, being back in Germany for more than 1,5 years now. But sitting here the last 9 months on my own also pushed me to finally priorize things I was always putting aside, because of all the distractions I had. Now, I am constantly working on my spiritual practice, acquiring new skills, and working on keeping the balance in my everyday life.

So what happened 2020 for me? I realized that there must be some other place of happiness for me. And since it was not possible to go there physically, I had to create my inner happy place. I was working on freeing myself from all the patterns, believes, and blockages I had acquired throughout my life. Each month I was doing guided meditations with my energy healer Adriaan and surprisingly finding all the answers I needed. Life is about how you handle plan B. As you know this time I didn’t habe a plan B, I didn’t want to go for second best. But let’s be honest, I am sitting in Berlin, the last place I would have pictured myself.

Since I knew there won’t be any way back to Israel this year, I wanted to check out other places that could have similar aspects for me. In August, I went to Malta and discovered this little island for myself. I really liked it, but culture wise I really couldn’t feel further from a catholic society, where everybody not only knows everybody, but is most probably related. Moreover, I was not amazed by the food or the location. So all in all I had a great holiday, but not more than that.

When I was going to Cyprus, things were already different before going there. I knew somebody I connected with in Bucarest and I had my Israeli friend who connected me with his friends there. I knew I would like it before even being there, and thank God I really did. This place is probably the closest I can get to Israel. But of course you don’t get married with a plan B immediately. You need to take your time to get to know the people, which was not really possible due to Corona. You have to feel the vibe despite all that is in its way.

You know when you go to new places and then create a mind map of the areas you got to know? This is what I always do, I walk all the places and cities I visit, because this is how I create my mind map. I did this in Toulouse, La Palma, Paris, Szczecin… just in TLV it didn’t work like that. In TLV every step I walked burned itself into my heart. Every street I crossed and every person I met is still there. So you can imagine that when I was in Cyprus and saw all these places reminding me of Israel, my heart was ichting every time. It was like opening your heart to a new place, but at the same time feeling and comparing your first love continously.

So yes, Israel has its special place in my heart and I was trying my best to give this new place a chance. Did I succeed? I did. How was it? BOMBA! Despite the climate, the beaches and sea ( I only dived into twice when jumping off the cliff), I really enjoyed the great company, amazing food, the warmth and generosity, the great atmosphere, and the joy of life connecting all the people living there, whether it’s Cypriots or people who moved there. So even while still being there I decided to give it a try. Adriaan my energy healer told me: Don’t put so much pressure on this decision, it doesn’t mean you have to stay there forever. And he was damn right.

Once you make a decision, the universe will follow your steps, and your path will appear. After all this time sitting in my room in Berlin, I was dreaming of a house with garden and I found more than that. I found an amazing home with an open-minded and adventurous soul like mine. Ever since I left Israel I was dreaming of finding my way back, of creating a connection that will allow me to come and go as I want it. And now even this wish seems to be getting granted. 2021 you started in the most amazing way. 2020 was about home coming. It was about seeing who really matters and bonding again with my family. I came home after almost 20 years of wandering. And only reestablishing this connection made it possible for me to finally make the move to the life of my dreams.

I am on my way, 2020 gave me the chance to build a solid foundation to build my castle in the air on. It gave me a lot of space to grow into. It made me change my perception of myself and others, and it made me see that it’s mostly not about me, so why taking things personally? Life is really about how you feel about yourself and treat yourself. Let go of things and people not meant for you and find your crowd to flow with like a fish. 2021 is already my year, because I moved with my cat to another country during a pandemic. And this is so me!