As I arrived in Cyprus I wanted to celebrate the Jewish new year. I wanted to do something that will stand for an initiation. Since my return to Berlin I’ve been doing a lot of inner work, which climaxed in my week of dynamic meditation. And this experience showed me that even if you think you cannot go on and feel like you cannot go on, you can.
So yes, I wanted to jump off the cliff and practice letting go. Shortly before we arrived there, I started to feel excitement but also fear. As I approached the cliff my body got into panic mode. I was trembelling. So I immediately stopped my thoughts and told myself this is just in your head. There is no reason to be scared.
Well, there is, because I don’t believe it is a good idea to jump off a cliff not knowing how to land in the water, how to stay straight during falling, and how to hit the water to prevent injuries. But I took my decision and felt that I want it very much.
Standing up there I just saw the blue water. That’s where I wanted to go. The rest was irrelevant. The only difficulty I had was that my legs were super soft and I couldn’t find stability to stand on the cliff. It took me a while to figure out from where to jump.
Apparently it only took me 5 minutes to jump. I can’t even tell what I was thinking sitting there and getting ready. I just know that it took me a moment to sort myself. When you jump you need to do it with full awareness. You need to let go of everything you are holding on to. You have to go all in.
I don’t even know why I closed my eyes. I just know that I jumped twice and was in pain for 2 days. But this experience taught me something that I will carry into my new year: It won’t be easy, but whenever you really feel like doing something, jump and go all in. #yalla
my beatitude 
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